I have had the pleasure of working with a lot of new moms in the studio. It was not until my best friend became a new mom, however, that I had to consider how to be a best friend to her in this new and changing experience of having a baby. Now that her little guy is a few months old, we reflected back and provide the following suggestions on being a good friend to a new mom.
- Ask about a hospital visit – As much as I wanted to see the new baby immediately, I asked my friend if she wanted visitors in the hospital. Some moms love to have visitors, while others need some time to catch up on sleep or perhaps recover from a difficult delivery. My advice is to check with the new mom after the baby arrives because she may feel very differently about visitors than she did pre-delivery.
- Send food – The new mom will get many gifts for baby, so I decided that with all the baby showers she had enough “baby stuff.” I focused on my friend and sent food. Nothing is more appreciated than freezable dishes, prepared meals, restaurant take-outs, or bakery…anything that makes her life easier and eliminates one more chore from her day.
- Don’t forget them – New moms seem to have lots of visitors in the first few weeks. That can be helpful and it is so exciting to show off your new baby. After a while, the visits end and the new mom may begin to feel isolated all day at home alone with the baby. My friend and I had lunch one day a week during her maternity leave. It gave her a chance to get out of the house and have some adult conversation. Baby came with us!!
- Be patient – New moms are incredibly busy. Not only are they taking care of a new baby, but they themselves are going through a time of recovery and body changes. Their life may be in a bit of a tailspin and they are probably exhausted. If you are not getting phone calls or texts from her, you need to understand that right now you may not be a priority. Giving her that understanding and space to work things through will be appreciated. She will be back, just give her some time!
Do you have other ideas for ways to be a good friend to a new mom? Please, share!
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